The cop didn't care that I was peeing on the wall of my dorm building... All he said was, "come on, it's 9am."
Question: why is there a dildo glued to my kitchen table?
I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
she peed on how many people?
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
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