I was pretty stoned. I thought I needed a seatbelt at the restaurant.
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
If you hit me with your dick and make light saber noises we are breaking up. I don't care if it's your birthday, you are not a sex Jedi.
So is singing the star wars theme as I put the condom on off limits?
Yes, but it's not new to me. It's like every time a new guy finds out I'm a squirter it's a novelty so they make me squirt and squirt and squirt until their bed is completely soaked. And then afterwards they complain that there isn't a dry bit to sleep on. No shit Sherlock.
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
Pretty sure the delivery guy saw me taking a shit this morning
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
Randomize
