I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
we were spooning and you were the big spoon but you insisted that I call you "the ladle"
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
I was sat at the table waiting with a glass of wine reading my book and the hotel staff gave me a goldfish in a bowl and said 'heres your date for the night' !
By the way can you translate "sorry, she played you bruh" to Spanish? Some Hispanic guy who spoke absolutely no English callled me last night and when I tried to tell him he had the wrong number the response was "como? No no no no...." And then click. He was gone
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
Randomize