Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
she went home with me because she said i reminded her of paul rudd. remind me to thank him for his awkwardness
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
I have a few Facebook friends I only keep around for quality control purposes on Tinder
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