So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
tonight is going to be epic. can you pre-book an ambulance?
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
I walk into the pharmacy and I'm like "I need three morning after pills" and the guy was like "uhhhh". All I said was "we didn't plan it, we all just got laid the same night"
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
Randomize
