it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
I'm the fucking queen of sexting. I just made a blowjob sound so poetic I'm wishing I were a guy just so I could blow me. Learn from me.
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
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