yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
I named my Roomba after my pot dealer. I have a problem, don't i?
How the hell do you misplace a bag of tacos in a closet?
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
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