What did we do last night that was yellow?
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
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