u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
Randomize
