Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
Please don't give away my fajitas
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
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