And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
Just made a drunk dude do 20 push-ups. In the parking lot of the bar tonight for a keystone light I found in the back of my truck.
Oh yum
Bang-toberfest begins!!
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
Randomize
