My friends, they love my intelligence
don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
Zak is like the Picasso of masterbatory texts
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
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