the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
Can I sleep on your couch? My wife just found my eHarmony account.
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
Randomize
