If you text me again I will gut all of your stuffed animals.
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
If you think I'm not petty enough to drive to your house at 3 in the goddamn morning just to punch you, you underestimate me.
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
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