Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
I found a video of myself completely naked on my phone giving a drunk tutorial on how to shit properly while blindfolded. Did you record it?
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
Nothing says "Jesus has forgiven your sins" like finding out you're not pregnant on Easter.
Dude. That's like masturbating until the point that you're going to climax, then stopping, waiting for a few seconds and then starting all over. While that does lead to an altogether more powerful orgasm, it's still annoying as hell until you get there.
I was not expecting that analogy.
No one ever expects that analogy.
Randomize
