Things I find upon waking: a gay man, a straight girl both clad in web bathing suits, a full bathtub, an empyt bottle of jamesons at the bottom and a scuba mask
There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
Randomize
