I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
there's paper in my vomit.
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face.
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
Randomize
