Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
i wish there were pregnant emoticons
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
I just had an epiphany. There is NOTHING TO STOP ME from making cake mix and eating it all instead of making a cake. It feels like my entire life has peaked at this moment.
he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
And now I'm taking a break sitting on the bathroom floor thanking god that people who eat at subway are either too classy to piss on the floor, or are still relatively sober enough to not piss on the floor before 5pm.
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
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