areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
No seriously, I have to sell the house because my wife found out I'm gay.
oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
Just realized I left my heels in their microwave. Whoops.
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
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