I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
Between the uncertainly of my bowels today, and the distance the bar is to my house, remember I am doing this for you and our mutual appreciation of alcoholism.
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
WHY THE FUCK IS MY BATH TUB FILLED WITH MUD?!
1. You were drunk 2. You wanted a mud bath\n3. We tried to talk you out of it, but you kept throwing dirt at us
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
Randomize
