I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
Promise me, at my funeral, you will re-enact our human sledding incident of 2011....you can use my dead body as said sled.
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
Randomize
