I woke up this morning to the buzzer on my oven going off... I cooked fish sticks at 425 degrees for 5 hours last night. my house smells awesome
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
Randomize
