people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
Want to FaceTime and watch me finish this bagel?
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
I watched my wife kick balloons while wearing thigh highs. It's not a sentence you get to use too often
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