I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
A woman with Alzheimer's pointed at me and said, "Don't forget to wear socks, because you're a lady!" I think it's legit advice.
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
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