Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
I just had a dream that I was fighting Donald Trump... Gotta stop watching the news before bed
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
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