I hope the kids appreciate the fact that I jizzed on her instead of on their slide.
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
Send help, water and tortillas.
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
I'm sorry I crashed your motorcycle and watched you get robbed from a rooftop. Will you please come back or at least drop off my shoes?
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
Randomize
