I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
I think I breastfed the cat at some point during the night, at least that's what my nipples are saying
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
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