what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
Randomize
