just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! I REPEAT, MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL! I LITERALLY NOW HAVE TO CANCEL ALL OF MY WEEKEND PLANS.
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
Do you think my laundromat will notice that the bloodstain on my sheets is in the shape of a face?
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
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