Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
Just found out I reached my $2500 deductible and I have a $5 million dollar cap on my health insurance. Let's get drunk and do something recklessly stupid tonight.
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
I've been trying to masturbate for the longest time now and so far I've accomplished getting tangled in my computer battery cord and phone charger and hitting my knee on my laptop.
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
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