she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
I found my laptop, credit card, and a bottle of Morgan all on the counter this morning. I'm scared to see what gets delivered to my house this week.
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
How was the picnic?
We played softball, except our team sucked. In one hand was a mitt, the other a beer.
Why didn't you put them down?
No beer left behind.
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
I'm currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
just to let you know, that was probably the funniest text i've ever received.
I suppose that kind of helps fill the void where my self respect used to be.
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
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