i tried to light my apt on fire. reasons why drunks and women should not cook
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
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