FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
She just kept tellin me God was coming back and he was leavin her with a bag of stale doritoes and shitty friends.
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
Randomize
