I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
Why is half of me covered in green stuff that won't come off?
You stripper-danced on a light pole in the quad. It had fresh paint on it.
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
Randomize
