Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
Randomize