If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
i just found a cheeto on my floor and ate it. i might still be drunk.
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
My parents are coming to visit the 28th. How bad is it that I put a reminder in my phone to "hide sex toys"?
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
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