Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
'Well you know, stuff happens' isn't really an excuse for sticking a cheeto in my ear
Your lack of enthusiasm for my exciting news of drunken debauchery with an otherwise occupied vagina of one of my greatest conquests yet disturbs me. I'm not happy with you
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
Randomize
