onenightstand. Woke up and saw my nuva ring on the floor. apparently he thought it was a glow stick. pick me up please?
he didnt ask why there was a glowstick shoved up your vag?
My underwear smells like fireworks.
How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
Randomize
