does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
I'm praying that the company stray cat shows up tomorrow. I think I may have hit it while leaving Friday. Nobody will believe it was an accident after I hit the last one.
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
Randomize
