we were spooning and you were the big spoon but you insisted that I call you "the ladle"
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
you're usually drunk when you offer. there's one time you called me, told me not to dye my hair red, and asked if i wanted to see your tits.
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
Randomize
