He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
Meanwhile she's getting her law degree and I'm dropping Cool Ranch Doritos down my bra because I'm laying down eating on the couch
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
Girl... I just woke up with a bloody mary in a to go cup on my nightstand and two hours late for work.. I'm sorry i can't go out on weekdays anymore. Luckily my boss was just happy i was ok
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
Broken heels while double fisting margaritas, picking up shirtless, bloody men and escorting them out of harms way, the meltdown when I realized I can go without a bra bc my boobs shrunk, the morning vodka red bull you were forced to drink? Which one roped you in?
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
Randomize
