I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
I've slipped into the part of my life where I am not having sex to get Phils tickets from this chick. I need to seriously rethink my life decisions
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
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