I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
We just had a 30 min argument on the actual birth date of Jesus, it ended in my brother and ain't cursing each other and an 8 yr old answering it by using Siri.
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
Mom, I'm really sorry you saw my naked ex-boyfriend in the living room this morning. I can explain....but I'd rather just stick with this apology and be done with it
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
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