I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
Zombie crawl summary: 5 of 6 friends successfully laid. friend 6 too drunk to care and making out with a whale (not a costume)
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
Randomize
