I making dinner, so you might want to actually come home tonight.
oh, you finally did the dishes then?
No, bought new ones.
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
At the funeral we'll say nice things, like "She was delightfully extreme, psychotically wonderful, and could probably drink all you fuckers under the table."
That's literally the perfect eulogy
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
Randomize
