I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
dude you literally had like 30 screwdrivers, i thought you were gonna die
that explains why my vomit smells like it came from florida
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
Randomize
