I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
Randomize
