We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
I'll truly miss your penis but your use of words and phrases such as bae, yolo, swag, and totes have ruined how attractive you once were.
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
Randomize
