youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
Randomize
