I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
Um please remind me to tell you what happened tonight. It involves wine, pain killers and firing a handgun in our apartment. Legit might be hiding from the cops this weekend.
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
So I figured out why that guy from Tinder stopped messaging me back. He got married.
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
Randomize
