bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
Come over and play the Jeter 3000 drinking game. You drink if the commentators say "captain" or "3000". I'll drink if they say "overrated" or "past his prime".
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
Let's go get our ovaries removed together. It'll be like bonding by getting mani/pedis, but with more vicodin and less unwanted pregnancies.
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
Let's get the cat blown out
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
and eventually we just all took our pants off
Randomize
