...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
Life lesson: when driving and throwing up, choose a paper bag over plastic. Fuck my life.
Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
When was the last time you made a good decision when you could've made a shitty one
I had a salad today
Screwed a girl without a condom but hey at least you got your veggies
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
Just try not to have a boner when you're giving your best man speech, it will really kill the vibe
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
Randomize
