You'll be the first to get a "it's herpes simplex 1" cigar.
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
I woke up with a fake mustache stuck to my chest and I can't even hold down water.
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
I just farted so loud someone came to check on me. Thought something fell in my office.
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
Sometimes having a penis is like having a really stupid drunk best friend. You see it doing dumb shit but you're just not the one in charge.
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
I just watched your fat stupid son get hit by a Prius. Ran right in front of it. He's all right . But... Maybe you should have taught him to look both ways like a responsible parent does.
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