I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
At least you didn't get an invite in the mail to your fuck buddy's baby shower like I just did. My life is a sitcom
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
Randomize
