ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
So as your former husband, I get to give you away at the wedding right?
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
What the hell happened to the sandwich meat I just bought?
After you smoked, you made 8 ham sandwiches.
Guess that explains the mysterious disappearance of the bread...
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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