I have the worst farts today, I'm walking by the cubicles of people I don't like and leaving them surprises. Brb.
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
Randomize
