I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
Randomize
