What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
I love having hate sex.
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
Was that you calling me at 4am asking to borrow a rubber ducky and a tampon?
Randomize
