Dude, the girl next to me just farted. Worst part, it smells like astroglide
dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
She always acts like she's doing me a favor with a hand job. I've been giving myself hand jobs for almost 20 years.
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
Good morning! So would you prefer me to show up kind of late or on time but looking like I got chewed up and spat out by an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer?
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
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