no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
Just so you know sleeping with you is like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
That's the most romantic thing I've ever heard
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
Randomize
