If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
I just had a contest with the toilet to see who could hold their breath longest.
I won
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
Randomize
