chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
I bought a box of wine on my way home. I figured if I’m going to be broke during the holidays, I might as well be able to drink about it.
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
Randomize
