What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
I woke up with fried rice in my sweatshirt pocket came downstairs and found all the chicken in the fridge gone. I'm THAT roommate aren't I?
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
Finally got with the virgin.
Yeah? Howd that go?
As soon as I got it all the way in, I looked deep into her eyes and said "your soul is mine" in the deepest voice I could make. She was not amused.
Randomize
