This girl is more easily done than said...
i just remebered what i did last night, i asked a homeless man on a bike "hey whatcha doin with that bike, wanna make 5 bucks?" he agreed and then rode me on his handle bars a block away to the next bar.
Turns out you can't chew it over with twix in real life
Dude I've never seen anyone get slapped that hard
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
Just found out I called my mom at six in the morning to ask where the bong was. I win.
The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager.
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
Randomize