I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
if happy hour never ends, you’ll never have to eat kale
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
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