Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
Randomize
