Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
i just renamed my vag "the sorting hat"
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock?
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
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