We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
I need to write the inventor of adderall a thank you note stapled to a copy of my degree
DON'T LET IAN EAT HIS PEANUT BUTTER!!!
Just remembered that I poured a whole bottle of tylenol in there. It's chunky. It's deadly.
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
I need a priest, doctor, and therapist after this weekend.
You came walking in the backyard at 10am, in cowboy boots, a new shirt, and had no money,....we lost you for 15 hours....i think you just need a camera crew, or an assistant. IMPRESSED!
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
Dear Ex-Sister-in-Law, I never thought I would say this, but I just found your panties in my back seat. Please remind me to give them back.
They left me at home... I'm a liability
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
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