He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
His middle name is Julius so I named his penis Caesar and told him he has to say "Hail Caesar!" whenever he comes. He didn't seem to like the idea, though.
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
Randomize
