question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
ok, im coming! i just found some lemon square in my bangs, washing that out..this shit is all over me! was i in a pie eating contest?
yes
did i win? did you like my outfit? or should i change, if you were horny would you bang me?
How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
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