I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
Why the fuck is BBQ sauce coming out of my shower head?
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
Celebrating landing my dream job by watching zombie movies and drinking free booze in the bath. I'm like 90% sure I just won life.
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
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