I think I tried picking up these girls last night by asking them what their favorite color was...I obviously woke up alone
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra.
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
Randomize