we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
Our 450 pound cab driver smells like McDonalds and sunblock with a touch of vodka. Correction I smell like vodka.
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
Randomize
