when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
Found moms dildo in drawer while looking for socks, and its wet
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
I can't answer my phone I'm at work
I slept with a male stripper last night. Priorities
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
Have you ever looked at someone and thought…oh honey, you're too pretty for an ankle monitor
there is puke in my bra ... again
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
Randomize
