Your mouth is God's brothel.
hdsncx Gizmo asnqw toilet blanasdi
ok, stay where you are, be there soon
I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
The "don't get cum on anything" rule also applies to my furniture and scarves
That's not technology. Doesn't count.
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
He just walked up to me in the kitchen, pulled out his penis and stuck it in my sweatpants pocket.
It was probably cold. Sweatpants pockets are notoriously warm.
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
I woke up upside down with my head in your ottoman and like a foot of space between the ottoman and chair.. My legs were straight up in the air... Yes. Your mother found me.
Randomize
