I wanna get so fucked up that I try to catch a coyote in a pillowcase, breakdance fight a lion, and send back some toast at Denny's when I see its slightly burnt.
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
Randomize