I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
Who pooed in my magic bullet?
Sorry the bathroom was being used.
she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
NEW RULE: can't hook up with more than 50% of the groomsmen in wedding party or it becomes wrong kind of weird. NUMBERS GAME.
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
Randomize
